Jean's Musings

When I was 13, I had a 23 inch waist and my father was telling me that I was starting to get fat.  (It should probably be noted that my mother is heavy and my father was an Army officer.)  The summer between my Junior and Senior years of high school, I hit 152 pounds at a height of just slightly over 5'4".  I do hide my weight well (unfortunately), but I was getting pudgy.  I managed to get down to 136 by the time I graduated.

A few years later I was married and got pregnant.  I was 22 and 134 pounds at 5'4 and 1/2".  I actually look good between 130 and 135 pounds.  I can carry more weight if I'm in shape (when I was at my best physical condition, I weighed 143, but looked 125).  Unfortunately, I had some medical situations when I was pregnant and ended up being 202 when I delivered my daughter.  That was almost 16 years ago.

Since then I did a little yo-yoing.  10 years ago I had managed to get my weight back down to 168 pounds after being stuck above 170 for a while.  I was walking 4 miles a day and felt great.  I was so excited getting below 170!  I met my second husband at that point.  Six months later I was 202 pounds.  I didn't understand it!  I ate the same and was still walking quite a bit...why the weight gain - especially of soooo much weight in such a short amount of time!  I went to the doctor and found out that I have Hashimoto's Disease.  What is that?  It is an auto-imune disease where my body thinks my thyroid doesn't belong and creates antibodies to distroy it.  My thyroid was (and still is) in the process of shutting down.  That explained the weight gain.

Between that and having Fibromyalgia and also being hypoglycemic, I gave up.  I made excuses for myself that I couldn't lose weight because of my medical situations...but I really just gave up.

Last Friday I went and saw my doctor for my physical.  He didn't say anything about my weight (they rarely do), but I did get weighed in.  I am now 5'4 and 3/4" and 258 pounds.  258...add 10 pounds and I'll be double the weight I was 17 years ago when I first got pregnant with my daughter!  ACK!  There's TWO of me!  One of me has GOT to go!

When I was in the Army, they considered 2 pounds a week to be an exceptable rate of weight loss (when necessary).  Any more than that was not considered healthy.  I started talking to people.  One person told me that a friend of theirs lost 22 pounds in four months simply by becoming more active.  22 pounds in four months...that's a good amount of weight in a time frame that is healthy and doable.  So I thought about it.  I should be able to drop a pound a week.  In 14 months I'll be 40 years old.  If I lose a pound a week (on average), I can be below 200 pounds by the time I turn 40 (I'll also be getting my MBA around that time - but that's another story).  Okay, so now that is my goal.  As a present to myself, I will be below 200 pounds when I am 40.

I quit drinking.  I quit smoking.  I quit biting my nails.  I can do this.

This weekend I am going to buy myself some athletic shoes and a good scale.  I'll keep you posted.